Pretty sure you have no idea

I just got home from meeting with a coaching client. A brilliant, powerful, and get-it-done kind of woman who, like every single woman I know (myself included), has a difficult time truly grasping how miraculous she is.

If you’re reading this, odds are you have a hard time seeing your own awesomeness, too. I don’t say this with judgment—just experience

There seems to be a trend amongst phenomenal females that they second-guess, they hesitate, and they are slow to receive feedback on the good they bring to the world and to other humans.

There are complex root causes here, surely—culture convincing women they need permission to follow their instincts, families expecting girls and women to fill in the gaps of caretaking and household administration. It's a lifetime of narratives read to us from an early age, teaching us that our worth is tied to making sure everyone else is okay—often at the expense of our own health.

I’m acutely aware that I’m middle-aged; I welcomed 45 years of age this week, in fact, and have heard the reasoning behind my massive life shifts (and those of other women) being attributed to perimenopause, hormone fluctuations, the aging process, and other things.

Perhaps this is part of the natural cycle of a cis-gender human woman, that I focused on service to others to my detriment until recently, because girlhood led to partnership led to motherhood, and now it’s a natural shift to more inward focus and fulfillment of purpose.

But honestly, I think these are just the last gasps of a dying archetype of femininity.

As a kid, I remember the sick feeling in my stomach every time I abandoned my instincts to make other people comfortable—laughing at cruel jokes, flattering people who didn’t have my best interests at heart. I distinctly remember pushing that feeling down just to show up as the person I thought I had to be.

And the sentiment I hear over and over from my most brilliant friends is: we are fucking tired.

So here’s what I’m doing about it.

• I’m loving myself the way I wish others had.

• I’m taking excellent care of my physical, mental, and emotional needs.

• I’m speaking honestly about what I think and feel, while holding space for others to do the same.

• I’m taking naps. (game-changer, y’all)

• And I’m being open about the messy process of becoming a new version of myself.

And honestly? I just don’t care anymore.

If you read this and dislike it, that’s wonderful. If it resonates, fantastic. Either way, this is just who I am, sharing what I know. We’re all here to do our work so that someone else feels a little less alone.

And you know what? We’re incredible. I can see it, can you?